This Morning’s Inquiry

The inquiry’s thread was long–it’s still occurring as I write this. It moved from the Rosanne Cash blog, to the Physick Book of Deliverance Dane, to a photo of my niece, to the photos on my bedroom wall, to discussions with my parents in the weeks before their deaths. They all are related–each looking at the same thing from a different perspective. Each morphing into another.

The inquiry began with the concept of truth versus fact. Most of us don’t realize that they are vastly different. For example here are some facts about me: I’m from San Diego, CA, the third of four sisters, have no children, and never married,  in my 50s, with wavy black hair, brown eyes, and wear glasses.

With these facts can you picture me? Do they express who I am? All of the facts are true, but they don’t take other factors into consideration. First of all, what may get in the way of knowing who I am from the description are your own perceptions of what a woman in her 50s may look like. You may picture your mother, a teacher, or someone you work with. You may see someone who dyes her hair and has a perm, although nothing was said about either. You don’t know whether my face is wrinkled, if I’m healthy, or if I smile.

They’re also based upon my own perceptions of what to tell and what I may think defines me. I could say that I’m overweight, That may be a fact because I weigh far more than I did when I was younger, but it doesn’t mean that I’m fat in comparison with other women my age. Upon meeting me some of you may think that I am overweight, yet others will disagree.

So let’s move beyond appearance. We all carry around stories in our minds. These stories are both real and perceived. They are about our pasts and our futures. This goes along with how you can ask different people who were all in the same place at the same time what happened at an event and you’ll get three different versions. We all bring things in that color or pollute what we think is.

This is where the difference between fact and truth is. First of all, Truth is in the present. You may be telling a factual story about your childhood, but it may not be the Truth. It could be tainted with misunderstanding or blame. It could be that it’s not the full story–only one side.

I’m told that I have an incredible memory, but I don’t remember everything. For example my middle sister talks about a horrible fight between my mother and her mother when my mother announced she was pregnant with my younger sister. Perhaps I wasn’t there; perhaps I didn’t understand what was going on; perhaps I didn’t want to remember it. But her memory of the fight doesn’t acknowledge the later relationship between my grandmother and my sister. In itself it doesn’t explain the relationship between my mother and my grandmother.

So what we have is a lot of gray and what may be. As I described in my Inquiry post there is a specific feel to the Truth. It really does show itself and can’t be denied.

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